2. Buy a house

This post is WAY overdue!  In an effort to get back on track with my list, here is my story about buying my house.

Over a year ago, I closed on my very first house and it is still difficult to believe I did it! It is really hard to put in words how much this means to me since I honestly thought I would never be capable of buying a house on my own.  I'll start this long crazy tale at the beginning.

When I was married, my credit score took a massive dive due to...well...moving on.  I was well aware that my credit score was poor when I divorced in 2010 and I slowly worked on bringing it up.  Sloooooooowly.  Worrrrkkkkeedddd.  I did tons of research, wrote letters, and paid my bills on time.  And still I looked at my credit (daily) and felt extremely discouraged. 

In February of 2013 I started back at college to finish my degree and the student loans caused my credit score to drop 13 points.

I cried.

This was it, I told myself.  I'm doomed to never own my own house.  Or maybe, if I could get married to someone who didn't mind being burdened with my bad credit, I could buy a house WITH someone.  Or, mayyybe move into someone's house.  You know, a house they owned, but at least I would live in it with them.

And then, not so slowly, my credit score started to improve.  Quickly.  It was still low, but it was no longer horribly, terribly embarrassing. 

That was when the mortgage agent called.  And I told him that he was wasting his time with me.  I told him there was no way I would be qualified for a mortgage and besides, I didn't have any money to put down.  He asked if he could call back the next day and process and application anyway.

I was conflicted.

First of all, my ex-boyfriend gave the agent the number.  The ex-boyfriend, whom I specifically told NOT to interfere, gave him my number since he knew I really wanted to buy a house.  But on the other hand, I told myself, it doesn't seem right to pass up the possibility to buy a house just for this reason.  What if it was really possible?  WHAT IF?

And so I agreed to let him process my application.  When I didn't hear back at the specified time, I prepared myself for the bad news.  I'm used to bad news when it comes to money issues, so my pessimistic side kicked in quickly.  Well, I thought, that's that.  I tried. 

Except he called and told me that I qualified for up to $110,000.

It felt like a joke.  Or a scam.

But just in case it wasn't, I contacted my friend who is a real estate agent and asked if she would help me shop for a house.  You know.  Juuuuust in case this was real.

I was qualified for a USDA loan, which means I had to look in a rural area.  Initially I wanted to look south of my job, which would be near my real estate agent, but then I realized this would cause some difficulties with childcare and my education.  I needed someone to watch my kids every Wednesday night, and I also need before and after school care.  Although there are obviously child care options available, my commute would be more unpredictable and I was concerned that I would not be able to get there on time some days.  So I thought, HEY, why don't I move near my ex-husband and give him the opportunity to see the kids more and help me out!

(I realize I've mentioned an ex-boyfriend and an ex-husband thus far in my story.  Luckily this is not a first date because I clearly would have been red flagged by now.)

He was on board with this plan, so I switched gears and told my real estate agent that I was interested in looking in a different area...two hours from her house, in a different county, in a different area code, and in the middle of nowhere.  I should pause here to mention that she's obviously a saint because she took this all in stride.  We now had 2 potential houses to see.

Because I value your attention span, I'll spare you the details about house shopping and cut to the chase...I fell in love with my house and put an offer on it.  And then the fun began.

In no particular order, but in a furry of events, all of this happened:

1. The house does not have a public sewer system because the town doesn't have a public sewer system.  I paid $70 for the township guy to stand here while I paid $75 for a guy to inspect my cesspool.  As a result, I got a letter saying that my cesspool was good.

2. I paid $475 for a woman to come appraise the house and decide that everything was okay except for the paint on the garage.  I paid something like $125 for her to come back out and say that it was properly repainted.

3. I paid $325 to have my house inspected and have it checked for wood boring insects.  I found out that there were carpenter ants, and the owners had it sprayed.

AND

4. I paid $500 as a deposit on my bid, which was refunded at closing.

Now here's where it got really fun.

Because I'm reasonably intelligent and also poor, I did all my divorce paperwork myself, including my name change.  I've been divorced since June 29, 2011, but the mortgage company was not a fan of my one page divorce decree.  They also were skeptical about my lack of child support.  Initially, I typed up a statement (and the request of my mortgage agent) and had it notarized by my ex-husband and myself to say that we are legally divorced, had no property or assets to divide, and have no child support or official custody agreement.  The mortgage company was not a fan of this document, so my mortgage agent contacted me and told me (on a Friday afternoon) that by Monday I needed to have an attorney write a letter saying that I was divorced.

No.

Absolutely not.

Here's the thing.  I read and interpret laws for a living, and I absolutely refuse to pay someone to do something I can do.  Besides that, it is EXTREMELY bizarre to pay someone who knows absolutely NOTHING about my divorce to tell someone else that I am divorced.  I also had the distinct impression that my (recently divorced) agent was jealous that I had handled this paperwork myself, without paying unnecessarily for an attorney 

I had a few people express concern about my attitude, because, you know, they pretty much control whether or not I get a mortgage.  In retrospect, I am a little surprised at how bold I was, given that I still was prepared at any moment to hear that this was all an elaborate ruse. 

I consulted with an attorney through a classmate of mine, and she recommended sending them all of the paperwork that I submitted, along with the instructions that I followed.  I scanned in all of the documentation and emailed my mortgage agent saying (basically), "You told me to have paperwork notarized and I did and they didn't like it.  So either tell me exactly what it is that you want from me, or read this paperwork and see the law for yourself."  Their response was positive!  No more proof!!

The rest of the story is very straight forward!  Bought my house, moved in (which was a crazy adventure!) and now I've been living here since August 2013.

Crossing this item off my list has remained extremely meaningful to me.  I truly feel a greater sense of self worth...not simply because I'm a home owner, but because I overcame obstacles to get to this place.  I honestly felt I didn't DESERVE to own a home, and now I do.  It isn't perfect, but it's mine...actually, OURS!  :D

24. Run a 10K

High on my success of running a 5K, I declared myself a runner and decided to set my sights on a 10K. 

Initially I signed up for a 10K to support DUI victims, since 2013 marks 10 years since I was hit by a drunk driver in a hit and run.  Instead, I made a very nice donation to the foundation and missed out on actually running my 10K because life had different plans in store for me.

My race partner was keen to run the same 10K she had run in the past, so I signed up to run my first 10K with her.  Since the DUI 10K was in May, and this race was at the end of June, I was sure that the extra time would help me prepare.

Except I stopped running, and it was approximately 1 million degrees on race day.

Okay, so I'm slightly exaggerating.  It was only about 90 degrees.  90 degrees after weeks of being 70 degrees.  And let me reiterate...I had stopped running.

The good news is that I finished the 10K.  The better news is that I will definitely have a personal record the next time I run one.  The best news is that I like the t-shirt a whole lot.

I learned a few take away lessons from this race.

1. Plan races in May and early June.
2. A great way to prepare for a race is by actually running.
3. Make sure you have enough songs on your playlist to last the entire race if you are dragging behind.
4. Start slow!
5. Don't start at the back even if you are starting slow.  It's mentally discouraging.
6. Run with water.
7. If you are going to run on a crazy hot day, run with a friend who has a pool in her backyard.
8. Bring food to eat on the drive home so you don't eat fast food post race.
9. Pick race days wisely...avoid days when you have plans later on.  Especially plans involving driving for 3 hours.
10.  DON'T STOP RUNNING.

I fully intend to sign up for another 10K next year in preparation for my 1/2 marathon.  HOWEVER, for the purpose of this list, this item is officially DONE!

Hey, look...updates!

One of these days I will have 30 things on this list!

1. Keep up a blog (Totally done!)

2. Buy a house (DONE!)

3. Buy a scooter

4. Go on a cruise/all inclusive resort

5. Ride in an airplane

6. Visit California

7. Get my tattoo removed
UPDATE: Get my tattoo FIXED

8. Buy myself a nice piece of jewelry

9. Sing karaoke

10. Perform in community theater

11. Complete the 30 day shred (Done!)

12. Run a 5K (Done!)

13. Weigh 144

14. Wear a bikini

15. Pay off someone's layaway

16. Pay for a massage (Done!)

17. Finish college
Progress: Enrolled at Albright College, graduation date December 2014!


18. Learn a language
Progress: Very slowly working on Rosetta Stone in German!

19. Learn to swim

20. Take dance lessons-any style

21. Take a cooking class

22. Study handwriting analysis 

23. Take a self defense class that will teach me how to flip a man over

24. Run a 10K (Done!)

25. Run a half marathon

12. Run a 5k...done!

So here's the thing...when I started this blog, this blog was the most interesting thing going on in my life. Now that I'm actively working on my list, this blog has been taking a serious back seat! But, never fear, it is not forgotten.

Soooo, why does a non runner decide she wants to do a 5k? Because everyone else does them. Seriously, in the summer my Facebook feed is just full of people posting all about their 5ks. And they make it look soooo easy. Just download a couch to 5k app and you can go from couch potato to runner in no time!

So that is exactly what I did. Back in January a friend of mine posted about a local color run that was in March. She encouraged me to sign up, so I did. The first time I tried my couch to 5k app (mine is run double, by the way, and I highly recommend it) I did a great job. I even jogged a little when the program was done. Fast forward several very cold winter weeks and I was now six weeks out from the race and that was the extent of my preparation. This was a great time to start making excuses, but for one of the first times in my life, I made no excuses whatsoever. I took my running clothes into work with me and used my one hour lunch to get my practice runs in. I ran in snow. I ran in A LOT of wind. I ran when I didn't want to. I had really bad days when I gave up and went back, temporarily defeated. I saw coworkers while wearing Spandex. But through it all, my boyfriend encouraged me. On the weekends, friends joined me on neighborhood runs. And finally, it was race day and I had successfully run a full three miles straight a grand total of one time (lol).  (ok, but I could rock 2.5 miles like the best of them!)

Race day was very, very, very cold. And windy. But, hey, that is how I trained! I ended up with my boyfriend and my kids there, who totally cheered me on from inside the building (I told you it was really cold! )  My friend Liz joined me and stayed true to her word to run every step with me. (Also, since I can't say it enough, a very, very sincere thank you to everyone that supported me through running with me or even with words of encouragement!)

Here is what I never realized about running...it is VERY much a mental thing. I can be two miles in and decide I need a break because I *might* run out of breath. Or I'm bored. Or my feet are wet (no lie, not a fan of running in rain. Yuck!!).  So even during my first 5k, a super exiting accomplishment, I wanted to stop and walk. But I didn't. I ran the whole thing!

When I thought about writing this post, I knew exactly how I wanted to end it. I wanted to say that I enjoy running and want to maintain it as a hobby. I want to work on getting a little faster and feel more comfortable running three miles consistently. I said that exact thing at lunch today, but then a funny thing happened. I went online to look at local runs to see if any other fun ones were coming up. While looking that up, I noticed a run to support dui victims. But here's the thing, it is a 10k, not a 5k. Great time to make another excuse, right? I even emailed my boyfriend to say, hmmm, this is probably not possible. And then I said what really hit home...a 10k to support dui victims to honor the 10th anniversary of being hit by a drunk driver. That is exactly what this blog is about. It's about challenging myself to reach goals because they mean something to me.

Ten years ago I became a survivor. Some days I have pity parties and call myself a victim, but through this journey I'm on, I am truly turning surviving into thriving. And a 10k is a great way to celebrate that!

So here I am. One thing crossed off my list, and something new added! What an adventure!

17. Finish college -in progress

I have spent the last few days waiting for something more official, but although key pieces are still falling into place, the reality is that my first college class is Wednesday night.  Well, my first college class was in 2001 at Bryn Mawr, but this will be my first class at Albright as a part of the graduating class of December 2014. I'm nervous, excited, a tad overwhelmed, unprepared, and overall speechless. I'd like to share more, like how my amazing boyfriend is taking on a whole lot in order for me to do this, or how suddenly this all came to be, but right now I just want to share my news and hope you all can celebrate with me!

11. Thirty Day Shred - Done

Or should I say...million day shred?

For anyone unfamiliar with this catchy challenge, the 30 day shred is a Jillian Michaels DVD that is allllll over the internet. Google it and you can get lost for hours looking at all the amazing results people have obtained from this simple 20 minute workout. I personally have attempted to finish this challenge for YEARS. I believe it is fair to say that I have done level one fifty times. I have made it to level two several times, but then I allowed life to get in the way, or I felt that I wasn't following it exactly right, or I just plain gave up. This time was different, quite simply because I finished.

How do I feel? Honestly, by now I never want to see this DVD again. Not because it is hard for me (by now it is quite easy done), but because little irritations have irked me the whole way through. But I'm not writing this post to say, dear God, Jillian, why did you pick the MOST ANNOYING MUSIC EVER, but rather to say what completing this challenge means to me.

I should have finished this challenge a long time ago. I started with great intentions, even given that it was during the holidays. I allowed myself to take days off as needed, because my challenge was to do 10 days of each level, not necessarily 30 straight days. But once I reached level three (for the first time ever), it became this big deal. Here I was, ready to conquer this challenge after years of owning the DVD...and my life was just the same. I am definitely stronger. I am definitely smaller. But I didn't become super woman over night. I don't have a six pack...four pack...not even a two pack. I don't feel compelled to do a second round. Frankly, I'm tempted to trash the DVD just because I can!  And in feeling that way, it makes me feel that I did something wrong. That if I did a better job of busting through these pushups, I would have fallen in love...with Jillian, and even with myself.

I also felt that I allowed myself to hang on to being nearly finished because it gave me a great excuse as to why I wasn't moving on. I can't update my blog because I'm nearly finished. No worries if my German is slipping through the cracks...I'm nearly finished shredding!  I have honestly been ONE day away from finishing for weeks!

I'm not taking on these challenges to be almost better, nearly finished, or just about changed. So take that, Jillian...I'm done, and I'm moving on!

#16 Pay for a massage

Done!

Why did I put this on my list? Well, obviously I wanted a massage. I am a sucker for even a halfhearted back rub. There are a few reasons I specifically phrased it the way I did, the first being that technically I get a professional massage from the boyfriend every time I distract him with football on tv and start complaining of back pain. The second reason being that I have issues spending money on myself for something that I view as an indulgence. It's obviously good to have priorities, but sometimes I need to make myself a priority so that I'm not crazy mom cranky pants.

So this item wasn't high on my list and I was tossing around a few ideas when my favorite yoga studio had a customer appreciation day on December 1st. When a friend of mine suggested signing up for a free massage for that day, I immediately thought, "Surely someone else deserves this massage more than I do." But as days went by and I found out there was still a spot left, I expressed my interest and was able to have my first "real" massage. It was definitely 30 minutes of joy! So I scheduled a massage for the full 60 minutes that I would pay for and here we are!

First of all, the coolest part of scheduling my massage at ommyyoga yoga studio this month is that all profits will go to charity! You can read about this on their website: www.ommyyoga.com

Secondly, this yoga studio is amazing and if you have any interest at all on trying yoga, you should check them out!

And thirdly, their masseuse Dedra is just plain awesome. And since I date a masseuse, I'm biased, and I'm still telling you that Dedra is awesome.

So onto the breakdown:

Expectation: paying for a massage would result in an extremely relaxing experience.

Reality: Yes, it was definitely relaxing. One of the things that struck me was thinking, "Surely it's been an hour by now and my time is up." It honestly did not end up feeling like time flew by, which is a fabulous thing. Another thing that I didn't realize was how much trust is involved in a massage. As the person on the table, you have to trust that the person will help and not hurt, will respect boundaries, will be non judgmental, will be attentive, and (lol) will not tickle you. As a person who is extremely ticklish, it wasn't something I thought to consider going into it, and I am happy to report I was giggle free. Actually, I'm happy that all of those needs were met. So much so that I booked another massage for the day after my birthday as a gift to myself.

One thing I didn't expect was a lingering feeling of guilt. Not over spending money on myself (since it was going to a place I love and a good cause) but over actually being the center of attention for an hour. I suppose that's an odd feeling to have an to share, but it's honest. And maybe it's something I will learn more about as I progress down the rest of my list.