Done!
Why did I put this on my list? Well, obviously I wanted a massage. I am a sucker for even a halfhearted back rub. There are a few reasons I specifically phrased it the way I did, the first being that technically I get a professional massage from the boyfriend every time I distract him with football on tv and start complaining of back pain. The second reason being that I have issues spending money on myself for something that I view as an indulgence. It's obviously good to have priorities, but sometimes I need to make myself a priority so that I'm not crazy mom cranky pants.
So this item wasn't high on my list and I was tossing around a few ideas when my favorite yoga studio had a customer appreciation day on December 1st. When a friend of mine suggested signing up for a free massage for that day, I immediately thought, "Surely someone else deserves this massage more than I do." But as days went by and I found out there was still a spot left, I expressed my interest and was able to have my first "real" massage. It was definitely 30 minutes of joy! So I scheduled a massage for the full 60 minutes that I would pay for and here we are!
First of all, the coolest part of scheduling my massage at ommyyoga yoga studio this month is that all profits will go to charity! You can read about this on their website: www.ommyyoga.com
Secondly, this yoga studio is amazing and if you have any interest at all on trying yoga, you should check them out!
And thirdly, their masseuse Dedra is just plain awesome. And since I date a masseuse, I'm biased, and I'm still telling you that Dedra is awesome.
So onto the breakdown:
Expectation: paying for a massage would result in an extremely relaxing experience.
Reality: Yes, it was definitely relaxing. One of the things that struck me was thinking, "Surely it's been an hour by now and my time is up." It honestly did not end up feeling like time flew by, which is a fabulous thing. Another thing that I didn't realize was how much trust is involved in a massage. As the person on the table, you have to trust that the person will help and not hurt, will respect boundaries, will be non judgmental, will be attentive, and (lol) will not tickle you. As a person who is extremely ticklish, it wasn't something I thought to consider going into it, and I am happy to report I was giggle free. Actually, I'm happy that all of those needs were met. So much so that I booked another massage for the day after my birthday as a gift to myself.
One thing I didn't expect was a lingering feeling of guilt. Not over spending money on myself (since it was going to a place I love and a good cause) but over actually being the center of attention for an hour. I suppose that's an odd feeling to have an to share, but it's honest. And maybe it's something I will learn more about as I progress down the rest of my list.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Saturday, December 1, 2012
This pretty much sums it up
After updating my list, I went on the web to research more about handwriting analysis and how I could go about informally studying it more. I was reading up on graphology on wikipedia and it linked to "Gestalt Psychology" and the top of the page said...
1. German...on my to-do list because...
2. Psychology is my passion and the degree I am (eventually) finishing.
So apparently, after learning German and becoming an expert in psychology I can update an article that is related to the study of handwriting analysis. I love when I can see my goals working together!
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This article may be expanded with text translated from the corresponding article in the German Wikipedia. (January 2012) |
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This article needs additional citations for verification. (February 2007) |
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This article needs attention from an expert in Psychology. (October 2009) |
1. German...on my to-do list because...
2. Psychology is my passion and the degree I am (eventually) finishing.
So apparently, after learning German and becoming an expert in psychology I can update an article that is related to the study of handwriting analysis. I love when I can see my goals working together!
Friday, November 30, 2012
It's about the journey.
Being a mom means I watch kid movies. A lot of kid movies...a lot of times. They all end up making me cry, except for Megamind, which makes it a very good movie for me to watch. But this week we happened to watch Toy Story 2 and besides making me cry, it made me think.
When the series started in the original Toy Story, we learned two important lessons: 1. Friends are extremely valuable. 2. Know your purpose in life. Of course, as a kid, I saw this lesson: Your toys are severely neglected and sad. Dig them out from under your bed and play with them...stat!
But Toy Story 2 is where things start to get interesting. We meet someone who is bitter and jaded and convinced that your optimism and enthusiasm is a sign of naivete and ignorance. For the first time, we can see a glimpse of what lies down the road and it doesn't look good...old age, poor health, loss of purpose, and neglect. And this is the crux of the matter...as much as we don't want to admit it, initially, the old man is right. It is absolutely inevitable that heartbreak is down the road. The only way to avoid it is to stay aloof and indifferent...never really being loved but also never having your love unrequited. And that option seems pretty alluring, for a moment at least. To be worshiped and adored! How great it would be!
And that is where this kid movie taught me an extremely valuable lesson...it's about the ride. It's about making the choice to take a risk. It's about knowing that the path leads to heartbreak, but it's the path with the greatest adventure and the best view. Expectations will be sometimes unmet and your seeming perfection may end up muddied along the way. Some of us may even lose an arm! But there is no greater calling in life than life itself...that is to say, to live, to share experiences with friends and loved ones, and to let tomorrow be tomorrow. Because...the greatest thing you'll ever learn/is just to love, and be loved in return.
When the series started in the original Toy Story, we learned two important lessons: 1. Friends are extremely valuable. 2. Know your purpose in life. Of course, as a kid, I saw this lesson: Your toys are severely neglected and sad. Dig them out from under your bed and play with them...stat!
But Toy Story 2 is where things start to get interesting. We meet someone who is bitter and jaded and convinced that your optimism and enthusiasm is a sign of naivete and ignorance. For the first time, we can see a glimpse of what lies down the road and it doesn't look good...old age, poor health, loss of purpose, and neglect. And this is the crux of the matter...as much as we don't want to admit it, initially, the old man is right. It is absolutely inevitable that heartbreak is down the road. The only way to avoid it is to stay aloof and indifferent...never really being loved but also never having your love unrequited. And that option seems pretty alluring, for a moment at least. To be worshiped and adored! How great it would be!
And that is where this kid movie taught me an extremely valuable lesson...it's about the ride. It's about making the choice to take a risk. It's about knowing that the path leads to heartbreak, but it's the path with the greatest adventure and the best view. Expectations will be sometimes unmet and your seeming perfection may end up muddied along the way. Some of us may even lose an arm! But there is no greater calling in life than life itself...that is to say, to live, to share experiences with friends and loved ones, and to let tomorrow be tomorrow. Because...the greatest thing you'll ever learn/is just to love, and be loved in return.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
To dye or not to dye
I've been talking about turning 30 for years. And then it started sinking in at 29 that this milestone was upon me. What I didn't realize is that my body has been preparing for years.
This Thanksgiving Day I was fixing my hair in preparation for dinner when I saw a glimpse of light reflecting off my hair and realized I had gray hair. But not just one gray hair, a whole pack of them, silently growing and just waiting to spring up all at once to say, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" I called the boyfriend over and pointed them out, laughing and astonished...and then suddenly the laughter turned into tears and I realized this isn't a joke anymore, this is really who I am.
It's not about the hair. The hair is just a reminder that these things I have been joking about will happen even if I'm not ready for them. Instead of ignoring this process, I'm choosing to embrace it.
And so, I am in process of completing my next item on my list (first being this blog, of course), which is the Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. I've started it many times but I've never finished...never even made it to level 3. I've accepted the fact it might not change my body much. I've accepted the fact that it might not change the scale. The point is simply to complete something that I've left unfinished. The point is that I can be above any excuse.
The point is...in turning older, I'm turning into the woman that I want to be.
This Thanksgiving Day I was fixing my hair in preparation for dinner when I saw a glimpse of light reflecting off my hair and realized I had gray hair. But not just one gray hair, a whole pack of them, silently growing and just waiting to spring up all at once to say, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" I called the boyfriend over and pointed them out, laughing and astonished...and then suddenly the laughter turned into tears and I realized this isn't a joke anymore, this is really who I am.
It's not about the hair. The hair is just a reminder that these things I have been joking about will happen even if I'm not ready for them. Instead of ignoring this process, I'm choosing to embrace it.
And so, I am in process of completing my next item on my list (first being this blog, of course), which is the Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. I've started it many times but I've never finished...never even made it to level 3. I've accepted the fact it might not change my body much. I've accepted the fact that it might not change the scale. The point is simply to complete something that I've left unfinished. The point is that I can be above any excuse.
The point is...in turning older, I'm turning into the woman that I want to be.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Terms and Conditions
It seems perhaps unnecessary to state that I've been thinking about keeping up a blog, but it sets the stage as well as any other opening line. When I was a teenager, I had an Open Diary, followed by a Xanga. I actually updated them and made friends...I have one friend from each on my facebook friend list, and amazingly enough we still have things in common as grown women. But as an adult, all my great intentions about keeping up a blog seem to go by the wayside because I have a total and complete inability to see anything through to completion now. I could blame it on having kids or having a job, but in reality, I think I'm just lazy and not properly motivated and it's something I'm eager to change.
To add to this intention, it's November 2012 and I am turning 30 in 2 months. It's not that 30 is OLD...it's just that I always thought I'd have my life put together by this point. And by together, I mean married with kids and a house. So far I've got the kids in that checklist and no immediate plans to remedy either of the missing 2 items.
So with these thoughts floating around in my head...how I want to accomplish something, how I'm turning 30, an how much I used to enjoy blogging...I stumbled upon a book called "The Next Thing on My List" by Jill Smolinski. Four pages in, I learned that it's about a woman who was in a car accident and her passenger died. If you know anything about me, you would know that I nearly returned this book to the library for fear of hysterically crying my way through the rest of it. But I pushed through my own horrible car accident memories and finished a rather simple, but potentially life changing book about a woman finishing off a list of things that her passenger had wanted to complete by her 25th birthday. It could have been just another book in a long line of books that I've read, but I decided to do something more about it. I sat down and wrote a list.
At this time, I have 20 things on my list, some of which are quite time consuming, and some that are easily related. (I see myself completing the 30 day shred, weighing 144 pounds, and modeling a bikini at swim lessons...right?) In retrospect, this list would be so much cooler if I had 30 things to do during my 30s, but the point of this list is to leave off anything too cutesy, too symbolic, and too meaningless. For example, in the book the author of the list wants to kiss a stranger. Frankly, I like kissing, but I won't regret never kissing a stranger. And I think my boyfriend will enjoy the exclusion of that one as well. When writing the list, I asked myself, "Is this something you will be proud of one day? Is there something you would regret not doing?" I've never been to Disney World, but I'm nearly 30 and I am perfectly okay with turning 40 without seeing Mickey Mouse up close and personal. Would it be fun? Sure! Is it something I'll regret not doing? No.
I started this list with a lifetime goal, but my boyfriend encouraged me to set a deadline on it. I can appreciate that sentiment as I would otherwise allow things to linger far longer than necessary. However, as a single mom with 2 kids living in an overpriced apartment, there will have to be a certain order to the goals that require significant amounts of time and money. My first financial priority is buying a house, hands down!
So on to crossing over into 30...and crossing things off my list!
To add to this intention, it's November 2012 and I am turning 30 in 2 months. It's not that 30 is OLD...it's just that I always thought I'd have my life put together by this point. And by together, I mean married with kids and a house. So far I've got the kids in that checklist and no immediate plans to remedy either of the missing 2 items.
So with these thoughts floating around in my head...how I want to accomplish something, how I'm turning 30, an how much I used to enjoy blogging...I stumbled upon a book called "The Next Thing on My List" by Jill Smolinski. Four pages in, I learned that it's about a woman who was in a car accident and her passenger died. If you know anything about me, you would know that I nearly returned this book to the library for fear of hysterically crying my way through the rest of it. But I pushed through my own horrible car accident memories and finished a rather simple, but potentially life changing book about a woman finishing off a list of things that her passenger had wanted to complete by her 25th birthday. It could have been just another book in a long line of books that I've read, but I decided to do something more about it. I sat down and wrote a list.
At this time, I have 20 things on my list, some of which are quite time consuming, and some that are easily related. (I see myself completing the 30 day shred, weighing 144 pounds, and modeling a bikini at swim lessons...right?) In retrospect, this list would be so much cooler if I had 30 things to do during my 30s, but the point of this list is to leave off anything too cutesy, too symbolic, and too meaningless. For example, in the book the author of the list wants to kiss a stranger. Frankly, I like kissing, but I won't regret never kissing a stranger. And I think my boyfriend will enjoy the exclusion of that one as well. When writing the list, I asked myself, "Is this something you will be proud of one day? Is there something you would regret not doing?" I've never been to Disney World, but I'm nearly 30 and I am perfectly okay with turning 40 without seeing Mickey Mouse up close and personal. Would it be fun? Sure! Is it something I'll regret not doing? No.
I started this list with a lifetime goal, but my boyfriend encouraged me to set a deadline on it. I can appreciate that sentiment as I would otherwise allow things to linger far longer than necessary. However, as a single mom with 2 kids living in an overpriced apartment, there will have to be a certain order to the goals that require significant amounts of time and money. My first financial priority is buying a house, hands down!
So on to crossing over into 30...and crossing things off my list!
The list
1. Keep up a blog
2. Buy a house
3. Buy a scooter
4. Go on a cruise/all inclusive resort
5. Ride in an airplane
6. Visit California
7. Get my tattoo removed
8. Buy myself a nice piece of jewelry
9. Sing karaoke
10. Perform in community theater
11. Complete the 30 day shred
12. Run a 5K
13. Weigh 144
14. Wear a bikini
15. Pay off someone's layaway
16. Pay for a massage
17. Finish college
18. Learn a language
19. Learn to swim
20. Take dance lessons-any style
2. Buy a house
3. Buy a scooter
4. Go on a cruise/all inclusive resort
5. Ride in an airplane
6. Visit California
7. Get my tattoo removed
8. Buy myself a nice piece of jewelry
9. Sing karaoke
10. Perform in community theater
11. Complete the 30 day shred
12. Run a 5K
13. Weigh 144
14. Wear a bikini
15. Pay off someone's layaway
16. Pay for a massage
17. Finish college
18. Learn a language
19. Learn to swim
20. Take dance lessons-any style
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